There is no denying it. I spent most of last week either being scared that my newly published novel wouldn’t arrive and the other half being scared that once it did arrive that nobody would like how it looked. Never mind the content!
It did arrive, and there was a drama (see previous posts) because there always is (I come from a long line of Drama Queens and trust me, I am the least dramatic of the lot) and finally, having overcome the panic, self-loathing and general pouty mess, I placed a copy of The Thinking Tank (The cover is amazing. Check out http://www.creationbooth.com/ and Graham can work his magic for you.) on the table in my kitchen, just to see if it got noticed. One by one the folks we had invited this weekend (most of whom had no idea I’d written a book) picked it up and examined it, making postive clucking noises as they did. And lo and behold, I felt this naughty little beaming smile creep up and pout of my chest and into my face. Hurrah! I am an author! And this is my book! Triple hurrah when I actually sold three copies!
The rest of the weekend I carried the book around in my bag, brazenly showing it off at the hairdresser’s, the post office and the health club. Suddenly the scaredy cat was gone and the preening siamese had taken her place. Now, I am not sure this is the model I want to stay with. Maybe somewhere between shameless self-promotion and humility at the blessing of being published is more where I would like to be, but for now, at least the demon mog had gone away.
Now I maybe have to get over the self-promotion thing, or my publisher won’t be happy with me. Maybe there is no such thing as a humble author. Oh God, that makes me VERY scared. Now where did that cat go….