Writing a novel: Is today the day?


Today is the day that my real, live novel should arrive, complete with its pingy, creamy coloured pages and its lovely Think Tanky cover. I have stuck a notice on my gate so that the delivery man knows that if he leaves a card and goes off without leaving my precious package, he will do so at his peril.    

But I have thought that today was the day before, when in fact tomorrow was the day so I daren’t get too excited. But if today isn’t the day because of some unforeseen circumstance then I might be completely stuffed. This is brinkmanship par excellence – and I so do not recommend it. I am a let’s-do-it-six-months-before-the-deadline kind of gal. And here I am with a shit-if-we-don’t-get-this-proof-soon-we-won’t-have-the-books-for-the-launch kind of situation. Take a deep breath and say ommmmmmm

Have you ever noticed how you get really excited by something and then when it doesn’t happen when you expect it to, that kind of childlike anticipation and joyful prospect is gone? Like when you are supposed to exchange contracts on a house and you get a time and date. And then it doesn’t happen. You get another time and date. It doesn’t happen. You get another time and date. It doesn’t happen. Yawn… And then you start building reasons why you don’t want to move anyway – just in case it never happens.  Or when you are expecting exam results? The whole moment is somehow marred by the extra wait time – like if you wait too long to eat you find your appetite has fled. You just lose that all-important impetus. I guess that’s how I have been feeling. It seems like my whole life has been building up to this one moment when my first-published novel is in my hands. That’s not true, of course since a) I never truly expected to have a novel published and b) There have been some amazing blessings as well as sadnesses in my life so this one moment shouldn’t be allowed a disproportionate sense of importance. But what the heck? That’s the way it feels.

Still the bell has not rung though I had sort of hoped that if I started this blog, by the end of it I could give a whoop of triumph and announce my new arrival. But no! If today is the day then this moment is not the moment. I sign off in the fervent hope, nay, belief that today IS the day and that the moment is coming soon…


About jaedewylde1

Author of The Thinking Tank (Summertime Publishing Sept 2011). Love writing and belly dancing, travel, theatre, good company, great wine and yummy food. Have experienced a great deal of life's crappy stuff...no doubt there is more to come, but in the meantime Carpe Diem! I did a BA Jt Hons Modern Languages degree at the University of Bristol, and have worked as a teacher, journalist and editor. The Thinking Tank is my first novel (please check it out at: www.jaedewylde.com). I have lived in France, Germany, Spain and the Middle East and now live in Lincolnshire with my lovely husband and two chihuahuas.

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